


Not Our Last Kiss

by RonRos47



Category: Supergirl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 20:58:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19753699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonRos47/pseuds/RonRos47
Summary: Alex and Maggie have a weird encounter that leaves them down a path they didn't see coming.





	Not Our Last Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the result of Taylor Swift's song "Last Kiss" so I have included it as part of the S3 timeline.

I still remember the look on your face lit through the darkness at 1:58. The words that you whispered for just us to know you told me you loved me so why did you go away? Away…. The beat of your heart it jumps through your shirt. I can still feel your arms… All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss. I never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this your name, forever the name on my lips… All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss. Never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this. Your name, forever the name on my lips. So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep and I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe… Hope it's nice where you are and I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day and something reminds you you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in weather and time but I never planned on you changing your mind… All that I know is. I don't know how to be something you miss. Never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this. Your name, forever the name on my lips just like our last kiss. forever the name on my lips. – “Last Kiss” by Taylor Swift

*****

“See you around, Danvers,” Maggie said with tears in her eyes.

“Yeah see ya, Mags.”

*****  
“I wanna save Kara and I wanna get back to Maggie.”

“Maggie is?” asked Sara.

“Complicated.”

“Yeah I had a Maggie too and I think about going back to her all the time,” said Sara. “Look, Alex, you seem like a pretty thoughtful person and if you thought it wasn’t going to work out and had to end it I’m sure that reason was valid. Trust your instincts.”

*****  
Those events happened months ago yet it only felt recent. Alex sat in the bar with a scotch in hand. She was able to hold her liquor to an extent and now she was on her second. She hated this place. It reminded her too much of Maggie and yet that’s why she had come. She needed the reminder. She needed to hate herself. She needed to hate that false dream. She wanted both and yet she couldn’t. How could it be possible? It wasn’t. 

“You get one, Alex.”

Even that was ages ago. Back when Alex had gone to save her sister and back when she’d wanted to break up with Maggie because she didn’t want to get distracted so that she could continue protecting Kara.

So she’d wasted it. She’d broken up with Maggie twice and now there was no going back. There were no third chances. This wasn’t some Disney movie where there was a magical genie that granted three wishes of course one he couldn’t make anyone fall in love, that was against the rules but still. Alex was done and that was that.

Alex hated this song and yet she couldn’t bring herself to play it a second time, “Last Kiss” by Taylor Swift. She wasn’t much of a Swift fan, that was more of Kara’s music, but the song seemed perfect for her sorrows.

“Never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this. Your name, forever the name on my lips.”

Alex downed her third scotch as she repeated those lyrics in her head. 

“Rough day hu,” said the bartender.

“You could say that,” Alex replied.

“Guy problems?” Alex laughed with sarcasm, “girl problems?”

“You got it right on the nose. Let me ask you something, you ever been so in love that you realized the mistake you made was the most stupid of all?”

“We all have those moments.”

“But I’m asking if you have, not anyone else.”

“I can’t love, not in my DNA.”

“Everyone can love.”

“I’m a Corcom. We truly can’t love. We can empathize but love is not part of the equation.”

“Lucky you. Hey listen can you change the song? It’s kind of killing my buzz.”

“Sure anything in particular?”

“Anything that’s not this.”

“You got it.”

After listening to his latest song, Alex had finally had enough. She paid her tab and got up from her stool. As she walked towards the door she bumped into the person coming in.

“Sorry,” they both said at the same time.

They looked at each other and their eyes widened.

“Sawyer.”

“Danvers.” 

They said at the same time.

*****  
They stood as if frozen in time neither knowing what to do.

“I was um,” said Alex, “I was, I was just leaving.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I thought you were just coming in.”

“Right, that’s what I meant.” Neither of them moved. “On second thought, this is your spot I’ll go.”

“No, no, this is your place. You were the one who introduced me to it remember. You should get to keep it. I’ll find someplace else.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Really, it’s fine. I’ll um, I’ll see ya, Sawyer.”

“Yeah, see ya, Danvers.”

Once outside Alex got on and straddled her bike. She took a deep breath before putting on her helmet and then revved her bike.

Inside Maggie stood at the door and heard the sound of Alex’s bike, going faster than anticipated not that Maggie cared how fast Alex went but of course she cared. How could she not? As she was about to head to the bar and get a beer the last song in the world she wanted to hear came on, “Way Down We Go” by Kaleo. The song was too much to bear so Maggie shook her head and left. She took a deep breath, put on her helmet and revved her bike, no doubt going full speed as Alex had done.

*****  
As Alex got inside her apartment she closed the door and placed her back against it and began to cry. She must have had a good cry for about five minutes before she went for her scotch. She sat with it on the couch, drinking about half of it and twirling the rest.

“Alex,” she heard Kara knock.

‘Damn it,’ Alex thought to herself.

“Not now, Kara,” she said to her.

“Come on, let me in, please?”

“I said not now.”

Her words were of no use. Kara made her way inside through the window. It was the same scene all over again but Alex didn’t care. Kara took a seat next to Alex and the two sat in silence for a few minutes. 

Alex toyed with her drink, letting is splash around as she twirled it. “I saw Maggie today,” she finally said. 

“Where?”

“At the bar. I happened to be leaving and she happened to be walking in. Talk about weird odds hu?” She shook her head, “I thought I was over Maggie, I thought I was moving on, I mean talking to Sara helped, at least I thought it did, I’ve looked into adoption, I’ve focused on my work.”  
“But those all sound like distractions now don’t they?”

“Yeah. Then I see her Kara and it’s like everything just floods back. We had so much and I let it go, I did that and not a day goes by when I don’t blame myself, when I don’t, when I don’t hate myself for it. I ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me and for what, some stupid notion of having a kid?”

“No, it’s not stupid, it’s what you want.”

Alex was no longer listening, it was more like she was talking aloud to herself. “I’ve thought it through every single day and I can live without a kid, I can give that up but what, who I can’t live without is Maggie and that terrifies the hell out of me. There were going to be so many firsts we were going to have together so for all of that to be ruined. It doesn’t even feel like I ruined it, it feels like there was some outside force that wanted to split us apart and whoever’s idea it was, well it was one sick joke. We were meant to be together and it’s like something or someone took that away. You know we were happy and we were in love, god we were so in love and it’s like none of that mattered. I hate what happened, I hate it so much that it hurts. It’s like there’s no going back but that’s all I want to do is go back. I love her more than anything so how could it all just be wasted like that? It still doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know maybe I’m just relying on some kind of false hope.”

“No, it’s not false,” Kara finally said, “Alex I know you wanted a kid but now from what I can see is that your love for Maggie, the thing you guys had, it’s more powerful than love can be. That kind of love happens once in a lifetime and you’ve got to hold onto it as hard as you can. Look I’m sorry about what I said on Earth-1. If doing what is right for you is being with Maggie then be with her. If having kids is what is right for you then do that but Alex you have to really look into yourself and decide what you want more.”

“I want Maggie.”

Kara nodded with a soft smile, “Come here,” she said pulling her into an embrace. “It’s going to be okay.”

*****  
Days passed since the incident at the bar. Alex stayed away from it but so did Maggie. It just didn’t feel right to either of them being there. It wasn’t just the bar they were avoiding. On one occasion Alex and Maggie both looked up from their locations at the latest crime scene. They saw each other but turned away, leaving their other people to handle their part of the scene, both taking breaths as they walked off.

Their non-interaction didn’t go noticed by Kara who was high up in the sky doing recon. She wanted more than anything to help both of them but there was nothing she could do and she would have made things worse if she’d intervened. 

It was the next day that things got more complicated.

“We’ll be working closely with the NCPD Science Division,” said J’onn. “Danvers, you’ll be running point.”

“Sir,” Alex said as she felt like she was going to hyperventilate, “I think Mac should run point on this.”

“Mac has other duties.”

“Atkins?”

“Sorry.”

“Then Garza.”

“Alex, you’re my lead on this,” said J’onn. “I know this might be uncomfortable for you but you’re the best agent I’ve got for this case.”

“Sir-,”

“I’m sorry, Alex, you can’t fight me on this one. It’s coming from the top that you run this one.”

Alex sighed in defeat. The fact that it was coming from the bosses above J’onn made it worse. “Yes sir,” she said weakly.

*****

Across town Maggie was getting the same information at her own precinct. She would be running point on the case alongside the DEO and more specifically the leader of their operation. Maggie tried to talk hers way out of it but to no avail. They would be working with each other whether they liked it or not.

It was a couple hours when Maggie arrived at the DEO with part of her team. They immediately went to work with Alex’s team while Alex and Maggie met up in the central command center.

“Hey,” said Alex.

“Hey,” said Maggie.

“So it looks like we’re doing this.”

“Yeah it would seem that way. I tried to get out of it, Alex, I swear.”

“No yeah me too.”

“So J’onn wouldn’t someone else run this for you too then.”

“Not this time.”

“Look we’ll do our jobs, make sure we don’t stand in each other’s way and then that will be the end of it.”

“Sure.”

“Not sure,” J’onn said coming over to them. “I’m sorry that this is difficult for the both of you but you’ll have to work it together. You can’t just run your own points and expect to do things separately. If we’re going to solve this one then we need you two to cooperate in a professional manner am I clear?”

“Yes sir,” they both said.

“Good then let’s get to work.” 

*****

After a long day at work the two girls were exhausted.

“Hey,” said Alex, “You want to get a drink,” she asked Maggie. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, we can just do this as two people who had a rough day.”

“Funny, I was going to ask you the same question. A drink would be great.”

It was more than a drink however. After a couple rounds at the bar the two quickly made it back to Alex’s place. Alex had her back on the door as she fumbled for her keys to get them both inside and once they were Alex had Maggie’s back on the door, their kisses getting deeper with each brush of their lips. They removed their clothes and danced their way towards the bed. 

“What the hell did we just do,” Maggie asked early the next morning.

“I don’t know,” Alex replied, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re apologizing for that?”

“Yeah I guess I am. I mean given everything, I never thought that we’d-,”

“No I get it. I never thought so either. You know after we’d broken up I put in a transfer for another district in Central City but it was declined.”  
“They declined, why would they do that?”

“Apparently I’m good at my job, way too good in fact. They needed someone who was highly qualified for their science division and there’s not much in Central City which is what I wanted, I wanted that slower pace but they apparently didn’t think so. Guess that doesn’t matter now though does it.”

“Of course it matters.”

“No it doesn’t. Had I gotten the job then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“So you’re saying you wanted this to happen?”

Maggie sat up and kept the sheet over her, “I don’t know. Would it be wrong if I said I’ve thought about this moment for a long time?”

Alex ran a hand along Maggie’s side, “No it wouldn’t be wrong at all. I’ve thought about it too.”

“You have?”

“Mhm.” Alex took a small breath, “A while back a friend told me to trust my instincts.” She looked up at Maggie and Maggie looked at her too, “I’m trusting those instincts now,” she said as she leaned up and kissed her gently.

Maggie returned it and kissed her back. What started off as a simple kiss got more intense. They had already done it once but once wasn’t enough. They went deeper into each other, tasting, feeling, a desire they’d both had since they’d first split. It was a pulling type of force that no other force could match and only they could fill it with each other.

A while after the two lay in bed. It was past eight in the morning but neither of them moved. They knew they were late for work but none of that seemed to matter. Their phones rang but neither answered. Their phones buzzed both for their missed texts and their voicemails but neither responded.

“I should at least text Kara,” Alex said. “She’s going to worry and the last thing I need right now is for her to show up here.”

“She worries that much doesn’t she?”

“Oh believe me she does that a lot when I have a bad day or don’t answer her in general. Don’t need her to come and find us together.”

“Good point.”

Maggie reached over and handed Alex her phone and Alex began to leave her message.  
Alex: Don’t worry, I’m fine.

Alex placed her phone near her knees and it wasn’t long till Kara got back to her.

Kara: U sure? J’onn is asking for you.

Alex: Tell him I’m not coming in. Personal business.

Kara: What kind of personal business.

Alex: Just personal. Fill you in later.

Kara: OK

As Alex was sending the text to Kara Maggie had also gotten a text, this one from her boss. She replied back in that she was taking a personal day. Her boss wasn’t too pleased especially given the case they were currently working on. Maggie told him it couldn’t be helped. Her boss excused it but told her she’d better be in tomorrow. Maggie assured him she would.

“So how much trouble do you think we’ll get in,” Maggie asked.

“Hopefully not much but given we’re supposed to work the case together I’m sure we’ll get an ear full.”

“Well we technically are working a case together,” she said as she placed a kiss on Alex’s bare shoulder.

“That is true.” Alex shook her head, “What are we doing here, Mags? Last night was only supposed to be drinks but it turned into something-,”

“More.”

“Yeah.”

“I wish I could tell you, Alex, but the truth is I have no idea what we’re doing either.”

“I guess isn’t this the reason we called in, we should figure this out right?”

“What’s there to figure out, what’s changed?”

Alex didn’t answer instead she stood up and began to get her clothes. She made her way to her restroom.

“You coming,” Alex asked.

Maggie suddenly knew that Alex was going to take a shower and wanted her to join her.

*****  
“Does this really change anything,” Maggie asked an hour later when she sat on the couch and Alex sat across from her. It was like déjà vu only back then it had been a time of heartache.

“I want to say yes but I’m afraid of what your reaction.”

“It’s the same for me.”

Alex looked down and shook her head, “I’m sorry, Mags, for everything. It’s all my fault and I hate myself for it. I just thought I could have it all you know. Perfect job, perfect wife, perfect kid but nothing is ever that simple is it?”

Maggie dodged the question. “I don’t want you to hate yourself, Alex, is that what you’ve been feeling this entire time?”

She looked up, “How could I not feel those things, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I thought I knew what I wanted but to let you go the way I did, I’ll regret that the rest of my life. We’re in this mess because of me. When I saw you at the bar the other night it all just flooded back. I thought I was over it but I wasn’t, not really. I could convince myself all I want but nothing matters more than you and I think you always will.”  
Maggie half smiled, “It was the same way for me too. I mean I saw your bike outside but I really didn’t think anything of it, part of me was hoping it was someone else’s but then I saw you and everything, all that we’d been through just opened up all of the gates I tried to keep closed. It’s never been over, at least not really. I know the way we ended things was, well it was the hardest thing ever, but I never stopped loving you, Alex. I’m still in love with you if I’m being honest but you deserve to be happy Alex, we both do.”

“I’m only happy when I’m with you.”

“Same but it doesn’t change anything.”

“What if it did? I can live without having a kid. I know I’ve said I always wanted to be a mom but Maggie what I can’t live without is you.”

“You mean that?”

“I still love you too. We can get a dog, heck we can get a whole farm but the only way my life matters, truly matters is with you.”

Maggie shook her head, “But then you’d be unhappy. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. How could I be unhappy when I have you and you’re not asking me. You’re who I want, who I really want. Do I think kids would be great, sure, but I can live without them. I can’t live without you. I’ve tried but it’s nearly impossible. You know the reason I ended things was because I thought that reason was valid but in the end it wasn’t.” Alex shook her head, “Sara would probably kill me right about now.”

“Who’s Sara,” Maggie asked curiously.

“Just a friend I met on Earth-1.”

“Wait, Earth-1, should I even know what that means?”

Alex smiled, “Another time.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“My point is you’re real and I want all of those firsts we talked about, no holding back.”

Maggie reached and touched Alex’s face. “You really mean this don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know I messed things up, I know I messed things up big time but I’m willing to give this another try but only if you want to. I’ll understand if you don’t, it’s my fault this got screwed up in the first place. I would hate me too.”

“I don’t hate you, Alex. I mean sure it hurt. It was the worst experience of my life,” Alex looked down in shame, “but it also helped because I realized that I could become stronger for it. Did I go out on dates, sure I did but none of them meant anything. What we had, what we have, I’ve never felt anything like it. It’s like this force you know, one we can’t escape from. I mean just look at what happened the other night, what were the odds that we’d run into each other again and more so what were the odds that our cases would overlap and we’d have to work together. I don’t know maybe it was fate or whatever you want to call it but no matter what I do, no matter what people tell me about moving on and all of that, it all comes down to you.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m still in love with you. I don’t want anyone else but you and I genuinely mean that.”

“So what does this mean for us?”

“Well,” Maggie said with a smile, “I think that what happened last time was certainly not our last kiss,” she said leaning in and placing her lips on hers. 

“No,” Alex said in between kisses, “certainly not our last.”

“And for the record last night doesn’t count because it was just about sex. I want this to be real and I want it to be real with you.”

“I want that too. I love you, Maggie Sawyer.”

“I love you too, Alex Danvers.”

The two of them smiled. They had gone through the worst thing imaginable. For Alex it had taken a trip to another Earth for her to realize just how much she wanted Maggie and that no matter how many dates or one night stands, they were all meaningless. Nothing could come close to what she had with Maggie. For Maggie it had taken a declined transfer to make her see that despite her anger and disappointment National City was where she belonged. Her friends and co-workers, even dates and one night stands could tell her that she had to move on but she didn’t want to despite how hurt she’d been. All she wanted was Alex and that would never change.

Now they were here at this very moment and nothing could feel more right than the two of them together again like a moon in orbit of the planet it belonged to. 

No, there was no last kiss only a new beginning. There was no one else, there never had been and after everything that had happened they knew that they could face anything together and they would.

**Author's Note:**

> For the record I am not a Taylor Swift fan. The song just happened to be trending on twitter so I looked it up and immediately it hit me right in the gut and reminded me of Sanvers. I tried to let it go but it wouldn't so I just had to write the fic.
> 
> That said, I hope you guys liked reading this one.


End file.
